YOU'VE GOT TO BE MAKING THIS UP!

       People sometimes ask me what being a police officer is like. There are many answers to this question. One of my favorites is "It's like having a front row center seat to the greatest show on earth!" It's incredible what we see on a daily basis. We see everything ranging from the horribly tragic to the absurdly funny. Here are a few examples of the latter.

       A police officer was operating stationary traffic radar. He clocked a vehicle exceeding the speed limit by 12 miles per hour. He effects a motor vehicle stop. He follows all the necessary protocols. He selects a safe place to make the stop. He positions his vehicle properly. He calls in the stop to Dispatch. When he leaves his patrol car he quietly closes the door. He walks up to the driver and professionally introduces himself. As he is explaining to the driver why he was being stopped the officer suddenly sees the car shudder and simultaneously hears a bump. Upon looking to his left the officer sees his patrol car tight against the  car that he stopped. Although the officer tried very hard to do everything right, he forgot one little thing...he did not place the gear selector of his patrol car into "Park" before getting out to make contact with the driver. The correct term for this is "OOPS!"

       A police officer stops in at a convenience store to get a cup of coffee. He parks his fully marked police cruiser in front of the store. He walks into the store and goes to the coffee bar. While he is at the coffee bar, in full uniform, a man walks in and walks up to the counter. The man pulls a gun, points it at the clerk and announces a robbery and demands cash. 

       The officer couldn't believe what he was seeing. He immediately took cover, drew his sidearm and to the utter amazement of the robber, announced his presence and made the felony arrest. This deep thinking robber walked past the fully marked police car to enter the store. You can't make this stuff up.

       Another deep thinker walks in to a Pizza Restaurant and asks for a job. The manager gives him  an application form and a pen. The applicant completes the form and hands it to the manager. His next move was to pull a gun and rob the store. He left leaving the store leaving the job application behind. He was arrested a very short time later. He apparently used his full name and address on the job application. He wasn't hired!

       Well, I hope you had a laugh or two. There are many more such examples of criminal humor which just might be the subject of future blog entries. Just when you think that you've met the dumbest person to ever draw breath, someone always comes along to prove you wrong! Enjoy your day.