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Thursday, June 11, 2015


     There is a lot of talk in contemporary society about marriage. There are so called reality shows related to the subject of marriage. Also there is the ease of divorce. In my view, these discussions and reality shows and divorce have gone a long way towards taking something that is sacred, pure and beautiful and has greatly profaned it. 
     The talk in society seems to mostly revolve around the subject of "marriage equality," also known as "gay marriage." At the risk of being politically incorrect to the extreme, the fact of the matter is that marriage is the invention of God. Therefore He gets to say what is and what isn't a marriage. From it's inception marriage has been the joining in covenant of two separate unrelated people who become one related people, or family if you prefer, until they are parted by death. Marriage is intended to be a life long commitment! 
     Adoption is an example of another similar type of a covenant joining of unrelated people to become related. When a child is adopted into a family they have all the rights and privileges as the children who were born into that family. 
     God has defined marriage as being the joining of a man and a woman who have left their respective families to form a new entity, that is a new family. The man and the woman are still related to their respective families but they are a new entity unto themselves before God. Ever since societies have formed, marriage has been between a man and a woman. Any other joining of human beings, a man to another man or a woman to another woman, is NOT a marriage. To call such a union a marriage profanes what true marriage, as defined by the inventor of marriage, is. Next, reality television.
     I made the mistake of watching an episode of The Bachelor and it's related show The Bachelorette. The purpose of these shows apparently is for a group of single men or women to compete for the affections of one man or women. depending on which show you happen to be watching. The season ends in a marriage proposal. 
     In my humble opinion, it takes significantly more time than ten weeks or so to get to know someone well enough to be able to commit to them for life. The track record of successful marriages of these shows is not good. Either the marriage didn't happen to if it did, it ended in divorce within a relatively short time. 
     Another show that makes my point is "Married at First Sight." Six people agree to participate in an experiment. A sexologist, a spiritualist, a psychologist and a sociologist use "scientific matchmaking methods" to determine each couple who will not have met or had contact with each other until the wedding day. The couple is followed through the first weeks of their marriage and will have to decide after several weeks whether to stay married or get divorced.  'Nuff said!
     Last but not least Divorce has been a serious cause of many of our society's ills. God hates divorce and upon a brief survey of the wreckage that lies in the wake of many divorces it becomes clear why. It does not matter how amicable the divorce may be, any children will be adversely affected, most likely for life. This applies to adult children as well. Divorce is bad!
     I have been married for just about 43 years. My beloved SWMBO has chosen to stick it out with me for reasons that escape me. I am profoundly thankful and glad that she has made that choice. Through those years I have learned that marriage is sometimes difficult, but you must choose to stick it out. Loving someone is a choice, not a warm fuzzy emotion. Choosing to divorce, it seems to me, stems from selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Marriage is NOT a 50/50 proposition. It is an "ALL IN" partnership. You choose to love your spouse. It is not dependent upon how you feel it depends in large part upon what you do.   Think about it!

1 comment:

  1. I am blessed and always thankful for my husband, Joe! We just celebrated 30 years of marriage. I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman and don't understand how any church can condone otherwise. A civil union might be the best answer for gay couples. It's not for me (or any person) to judge. We are led to love our neighbors... (including a couple of wonderful family members and a few friends).

    I did see some statistics awhile back that marriage has gained in "popularity" again, and that more couples are marrying than just living together. That's a plus.

    I must say that I was divorced after 10 years of marriage. He was a Vietnam vet and a Marine. When we met and fell in love he hadn't been to Vietnam yet. When he returned, he was a totally different person and some of that escalated through the years until the marriage had to end. I did file for an annulment so that Joe and I could marry in the Catholic Church. It took 18 months, but that there was no sacrament of marriage was proven and the annulment was granted. (The legal divorce was granted in a year.) No amount of work could have saved our relationship. I agree that some people just give up, but I know from experience and agree with you that it is an "all in" proposition, and that sometimes one person just can't deliver "all in". His soul was wounded by what he went through, as were many who served over there, and it just wasn't healing. My soul was wounded because of his. We had to part and I had to find myself again. So I can be sympathetic and empathetic about divorce, but agree that it is tragic.