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Wednesday, January 19, 2011


     I have been happily married to the same woman for almost forty years. I love this woman more than life itself. She is a constant source of joy, devotion, and love. She is a remarkable woman in so many ways.
     Like a lot of wives she is not a sports fan. Sometimes, just to keep me company, she will sit through a game, knitting, doing cross stitch, or reading a book. From time to time she will ask a question about the game but by and large she has no interest. When I yell at the TV she will pat me gently on the arm and softly say "They can't hear you, love." This often elicits a "You don't know what you're talking about" glare from me. 
     When it comes to professional sports I tend to be parochial in my support. My favorite team in baseball is the Boston Red Sox, and whoever is playing against the Yankee's. In hockey, it's the Boston Bruins, and whoever is playing against the Montreal Canadiens. In basketball it's the Boston Celtics, and whoever is playing against the LA Lakers. When it comes to football, it's the New England Patriots, and whoever is playing against the Dallas Cowboys. Why this is so is grist for another blog entry...but that's just the way it is. MY WIFE IS FULLY AWARE OF THESE AFFILIATIONS!
     As you may know, this past Sunday the New England Patriots played the trash talking punks from New York also known as the Jets in the AFC Divisional Playoffs. The Patriots were ten point favorites to win the game. The Patriots had won 14 out of 16 regular season games. This was no small feat considering a lot of the Patriot players were young and inexperienced. Their victory over the Jets was all but assured by those pundits who are paid good money to know such things.
     The Patriots, as it turned out, were not doing well against the Jets. Apparently the Jets didn't get the memo that said they were supposed to lose the game. I was not a happy camper! It was in the third quarter, the Jets had the ball when I heard my beloved wife utter the blasphemous words "GO JETS!" I said in shocked disbelief "EXCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU SAY? DID YOU JUST CHEER FOR THE JETS?" She said, to my utter shock and disbelief "Yes, I did." I asked her why would she betray me and my beloved Patriots like that? She said that the Patriots had talked trash about the Jets during the past week and she likes the Jets green pants. "GREEN PANTS!? ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?" I also informed her that the Patriots comments were in response to the trash talking done by the Jets. She said that she didn't hear the Jets say anything so in SWMBO-world it didn't happen!
     I was aghast! My beloved SWMBO had committed treason. My thoughts went to how to respond to such an affront...(1) Consult a lawyer to see if there's legal grounds for divorce?; (2) Could I get away with giving her a beat down?; (3) The silent treatment?  Oh Betrayal, Thy Name is Green Pants I moaned to myself.
     I considered my options more carefully: (1) Divorce was out of the question because I STILL loved my wife more than the contest there! (2) The beat down was out of the question because...(a) She would probably beat my butt and (b) I had to go to sleep sometime and if I did prevail in the beat down there is no way that I would ever close my eyes in the same house with that woman. (3) The silent treatment was not a viable option either...I still love my wife.
     Seriously, as much as I enjoy watching professional sports it is only a game. The outcome of any game really does not affect my life in any way, whatsoever. Whether my team wins or loses does not impact my existence at all, it is really irrelevant. 
     The fact of the matter is when it comes to my priorities in life, professional sports is nice to have but it is not a necessity. On the other hand, SWMBO is everything! There is nothing in my life more important that she is. I urge all sports fans to keep their priorities straight. 
     Winning teams come and go! All professional teams will disappoint you from time to time. SWMBO's love and devotion never wavers and she is as constant as the north star. As much as I might like sports, I love SWMBO so much more!...and besides there's always next year...GO PATRIOTS ! ! !

1 comment:

  1. I wasn't so much cheering for the Jets as I was cheering for the green pants. We all ponc our team love. Maybe next game I'll tell you what color will win again.