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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Women Vs Men

   As anyone who knows me will attest to, I am still madly in love with my wife of lo these many years. Everyday we make it a point to tell each other "I love you!" Every day she causes me to smile or laugh out loud. However, through the years I have learned to be very afraid whenever I see my wife holding either of the items depicted in this Blog.

Home Tool Box

The common tool box...Whenever I see my wife with this tool box, or any item from this tool box, it sends chills of fear up my spine, a fear experienced by men all over the world. A few of the reasons for this rational fear is...(1) Because it often results in time consuming re-repairs for me to do or; (2) It results in me having to drop what I'm doing to complete the sure-to-be time consuming task that she has in mind or; (3) A tool that I'm sure to need later falls into our home's equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle...never to be seen again. Please note the empty space in the tool box approximating the shape of an adjustable wrench. That's why men shudder at the sight of women holding a hammer or other tool.

The television remote control...sometimes my wife comes to me and in her little girl voice says "You love me...Right?" "You like helping me...Right?" "Even when I do somethin?" Of course when this happens I know that I have to fix something.

I don't know why women, particularly my wife, have such a hard time with TV remote controls. We have a universal remote control that controls our TV, Cable Box and DVD Player. She is forever re-configuring the audio-visual setup rendering it inoperable. She relies upon me to figure out what she did and then to fix small task! It's kinda like divining the future...when you get it right it is usually due to pure dumb luck.

Therefore, as the duly appointed lord and master of my domicile I have declared the remote controls and the immediate area around them an estrogen-free zone. Violation of this zone will result in severe penalties. So let it be let it be done!

Now...if there are any men reading this Blog who believes this works, I've got news for you...There is No Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny does not exist and trying to enforce this rule won't hurt you one tiny bit.

Enjoy your day!


  1. I was laughing so hard it hurts! You have such a way of spinning a story! Too bad it's so true! You also have a way of finding my shoes (I think you move them first so that you know where to look). Love you babe and thanks for fixing the tv last night.

  2. Hi Gerry!
    I thought this post was hilarious! Like your lovely wife, my friend Lynn Marie, I'm the kiss of death with tools more complicated than a knife and fork. Also like Lynn, I'm lucky to have married a true Mr. Fix-it. But unlike Lynn Marie, I'm not tempted to pick up a tool myself.

    As for the remote control issue, it's not our fault those things go kerflooey. Today's remote controls are over-designed. There is no rational reason you should need an engineer's background to watch tv.

    There's also no reason to have 5,000 buttons when all you need is seven: On/Off, Volume Up/Down, Channel Up/Down and Guide.

    Hugs to you both,